Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
