I wanna bring you to show and tell
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
