Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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