my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize