so that wasnt chicken after all
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
