I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Randomize