this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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