so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
