I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
