Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
im holly from the hills drunk
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
