I think i peed on brittanys purse
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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