I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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