Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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