home. puking in laundry basket.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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