I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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