shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
