on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
