even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
