I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
