So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
