watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
