PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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