I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize