New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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