Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
