that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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