Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
