dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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