He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Randomize
