She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
