No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I fill condoms, not promises.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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