Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
