lets start a swedish sibling band together
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
