U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
