I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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