lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize