I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Randomize
