I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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