she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
The police scanner is talking about you again....
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
