Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
