yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
