I queefed so loud it echoed.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
