cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
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