apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
