Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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