Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
