your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize