Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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