I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
