u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
