It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
