Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
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