My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
