its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
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