I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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