Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
