Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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