Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
