UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
this just has baby written all over it
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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