A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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