no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
